Ripping my hair out

Now this is the thesis I remember. The hair ripping part of doing a thesis. You toddle along, making images, having an illustration party with yourself, making pictures, amending pictures, moving to the next picture--setting them up, knocking them down. Then what happens, is that the track splits and you need to change, amend, rethink, or keep going with the thesis--keeping all the plates spinning and work coming out the back end. I am so good with this. Started with the concept of "Visions of Paradise" which evolved to the Garden of Eden story. All was great with the Tree of Knowledge and the Tree of Good and Evil. It begin to get nasty with the separation of the firmaments. How to depict God? The first reminder was to myself..."why are you doing this" What is the end game for July 09?" After a dozen pictures messing around with the Genesis project, I jumped off and started to just look around after the immersion in Indian painting, Mexican woodcuts, and the usual suspects (in the world of inspirations). I needed to work on a technique with this black and white work--so that the ink work could evolve into colored illustrations in the occasion they needed to be color. I am so good with just black and white, and this stretch to color is pushing me a bit. I figured I would give myself a vacation from Genesis and work on work related to what happened after Adam and Eve were cast out. True Love For Ever....Valentines. I have a hive (done), a lady (needs color), a singing bird (needs color), a tiger, a finch in a leafy shape, and plans for another beehive married with a frame and a honeycomb pattern. I am working with all sorts of reference from Audubon Natural Science books to more Indian work, more woodcuts etc. Am getting a bit more fluid with how to take it to color albeit with the 80/20 measure, it is puzzling me as I work with it. Not that it's unachievable, its just making me think, which makes the work go a bit slower. I will have 6-8 Valentines for San francisco, the existing Eden work with a change in the firmament piece, a piece dealing with the trees that bear fruit with the grasses that bear fruit, the birds of the sky (hopefully) and the beasts of the seas...The hair ripping is I feel like I've hit ice....I am slipping and sliding around and feel that though the work (compared with the decorative work of last July) has tightened and has more resolution, more finish than before. I am thinking more about the work, how the image is put together and how to take it apart to make it right again. I am making parts to add to symmetrical/ flipped images to make it seem more integrated. I am making parts for borders, for frames. I have stand alone beasts and beasts that just seem stuck on am image. The heart from last night, despite the color work still couldn't sit up and breathe--so that time is moot. Simple and elegant, break lines and bars, remember tapering, remember the 80-20, remember the sense of context. Try to give the image a place where it lives....Man, can't I go back to tracing Prince Valiant?

So the track has split. What I have learned when this happens is to soldier through. Left foot, right foot as this is the place were the energy happens. Nuclear fission. This is where you gut it out, keep the time and passion on it--and we may see a leap ahead. I should understand this in my is just so disheartening.

Exams next week for the home team. There were some small badger fights to get the information on which tests, when...with a lot of bold, laxidaisical talk that merited my getting off my haunches and doing the who/what /where/when on all the subjects. I really hate this stuff. Long day. Hopefully, an early night.